Cowards Beware

On 11th January 2018, we were with Evie at the moment she died. She was 13. We were holding her hand when she took her last breath. That moment rent our souls. When she died, our future died, and as we had created her from our love, part of us died with her.

A child’s death is something that no parent should endure and every day afterwards is one full of pain. Depression. Confusion. Anger. Searching for a reason ‘why’. Sometimes, very sadly, people seek to take advantage of your weakened state for their own advantage. These people are to be pitied because their cowardice shows them for the people they truly are.

For the last 930 days, we have got up, put on the mask to show the world, picked up the body armour, and got on with the day. Each day we face the complete lack of understanding in the wider community who simply don’t know what to say or do to help. But each day, you survive another 24 hours. Each day, you build a little more resilience. Each day you become, without realising it, a little bit stronger.

Then one day, the moment comes when it dawns on you that no matter what people might think, they cannot hurt you any more. You have fallen as far as it is possible to fall. You have survived the single most horrific event of your life and got up again and faced the world again. You understand that you can face down anything that these bullies try to throw at you, and that you have the strength to deal with it. You know that you have the terrier-like tenacity to dig, research, investigate forensically their best attempts to bully you. But most importantly, because you know that you have survived and thrived, that you will win this and that they now face a storm of pain, unleashed from 2 1/2 years of loss. Pain that had needed an outlet and now has one. Pain that will galvanize energy, strength and a determination to finish what you start.

Dear World, dear Bullies - you cross a bereaved parent at your peril. For now you have unleashed the whirlwind.