Robins and Feathers

“When robins appear, loved ones are near”. It’s a phrase that we have seen time and again since Evie died. I really have absolutely no idea where it originated, although I suppose I could do a bit of research on the internet in an effort to find out? Likewise, the appearance of small white feathers with no logical explanation is also something that we have noted, usually at time of high stress, since she died.

Both events signify that someone that we love and has died is trying to communicate with us, offer re-assurance perhaps or just let us know that they are still around, keeping an eye on things. I have spent all of my life being a major cynic but now …….. who knows? More pointedly, do I actually want to know?

The thought of Evie’s spirit still being around keeping an eye on things, or trying to communicate in some way is incredibly comforting. It means that she isn’t completely gone, that something, her soul perhaps, lives on. That in turn brings hope. Hope that we will see her again, hold her again and that this world of ours isn’t just some random act of evolution. Hope keeps us going, fighting against terrible odds. Sometimes it is forlorn, or misguided, but we hold onto it anyway. I have found that I am looking for signs anywhere, that she might still be around. Those random acts that have no logical explanation; Ward Thomas playing their new album at a concert, then inexplicably playing Evie’s favourite song in the middle of the set. There were no other old songs at all in that concert.

Over the last two years, we have found small white feathers in odd places, usually at times of high stress or emotional pain. How they got there usually defies explanation. But they are there nonetheless.

Somehow, the presence of a robin when we are walking changes things. It brings a peacefulness that wasn’t there before. Am I imagining it? Does it matter? It gives comfort and that is all that is important. This new life of ours is tough enough so anything that helps has to be a good thing. Logic simply doesn’t come into it, and that’s the way it will stay.