The Fog

For the first time in a very long while, I haven’t written this week’s Wednesday Wisdom in advance. Usually, on the day it is just a matter of minor tweaks, correct the odd error and hit ‘Publish’. Not this week though.

The fog has returned once again. The fog that stops you thinking ahead and planning. The fog that blocks creativity. It’s also a fog that saps your energy. Everything else is ticking along in the new ‘normal’ way, but thinking ahead eludes me and actually has done for a couple of weeks. The last two WWs, were pre-written, so I was fine. This one though is being written pretty much ‘off the cuff’. I’m not sure why I can’t think ahead at the moment, and can only presume that it will pass, and I’ll regain some traction again. Or not.

I looked back at some of the very early WWs for inspiration, or maybe to find one where my thoughts on the subject may have changed, but found nothing that produced a spark. So I decided to write about the fog itself. What I do know is that my approach to the fog has changed. Before, a year or so ago, it bothered me, annoyed me and I became frustrated with it. It felt like failure. I fought against it, achieving nothing apart from raising my blood pressure even further. Now, I just ride the wave, knowing that it will go in time and that eventually I’ll start thinking more clearly again. I’m calmer now, less angry, less frustrated at the minor failures or errors that the fog causes. I’ve learned to put them into the context of Evie’s death. Compared to that nothing else matters.

Don’t get me wrong, I still detest those people that have caused us pain through their self-centred attitudes, and I can still get angry at the smallest thing. But the fog isn’t one of them. It is now a part of me that I accept, a part of the new me. It’s not a part that I like that much, but I also realise that it isn’t going to change for some time, if at all, so getting frustrated isn’t productive.

So writing about the fog is me thinking outside the box. Sort of. Or at least it would be if I could see the box! It’s a bit foggy in here ……