Do You Believe in Ghosts?

Do you believe in Ghosts? Following on from last week’s WW, I am going to have a think about where Evie is now.  On several occasions since Evie died, I have sensed something, a presence perhaps or an arm-tingling coldness.  I’ve never given the prospect of any form of afterlife much thought before but now it has taken on a different level of importance.  The thought that Evie has gone in every sense is too painful to accept, so having a hope that her soul is there somewhere, still in touch, gives me in turn the hope that I will be with her again.

Religion aside, I have always thought that there is so much in this universe that we can’t possibly understand that there was a chance of some form of life after death.  I’ve always felt that our brains are simply too ill-equipped to figure out all the facts and science.  Could it be an existence where time doesn’t exist?  Two years ago, the subject was nothing more than a topic for conversation over a pint of beer, but now it is something that I want to believe in.  Want to believe in, and need to believe in.

Over the last 21 months, I have sensed something that suggested that Evie was nearby. The most recent was a noise upstairs, not the cats who were out, and when I went to investigate, I was suddenly very cold and covered in goose bumps.  I talked to Evie and the feeling went.  For me, the thought that she is around is very welcome.  I love those moments when they happen.   It gives me a glimpse of being connected again.  It’s funny in that I have never considered faith to be the link or connection.  Faith and hope would seem to me to be intertwined, one supporting the other.

A while ago I had a chat with the vicar that held Evie’s Celebration of Life about faith.  He asked me what the opposite of faith was and I said ‘doubt’.  He disagreed an offered an alternative view.  He suggested that the opposite of faith was empirical evidence that God didn’t exist, because if you can’t prove that something doesn’t exist, then your faith is right.  You can argue the pros and cons of such a view all day long, but to me it indicated that if you cannot, categorically, prove to me that Evie’s soul has gone forever, then my faith that it is there somewhere is sound. Am I cherry-picking the argument? Probably, but if it helps me then that is good enough. 

Likewise, as I said last week, I have considered going to a medium, but in a way I don’t want to because if it was a bad experience, it could harm those lovely moments, and I’d rather be clinging to something that I can’t explain as a positive experience.  Hope is a powerful emotion and gives me some degree of strength.  The strength to face down the pain of her death.  And right now, I’ll accept the strength in whatever form it takes.  Evie’s soul is out there somewhere and one day we will all be together again as a family.