Who wants to be Stoic?

Asking for help is something that the British find difficulty with. Asking for help with financial issues is almost impossible. If we have cancer we don’t think twice about calling Macmillan. If we have a child with ADHD, we readily pick up the phone and talk to local specialists about what help is available. Yet if we are in financial difficulty, we struggle on and do nothing either until we drown or it is too late and we have built up massive debt.

Losing a child places massive strain on our lives in so many different ways. One of those is our ability to function at work, or even work itself. If you are self-employed and lack the motivation to work because the centre of your universe has gone, then paying the mortgage can be a really difficult process. Yet we don’t seek financial help early enough. We’re not burying our heads in the sand as such, just find moving forward difficult.

There are about 3,300 benevolent charities out there that offer financial help to people who are struggling on low salaries or pensions. Pretty much every occupation is covered, so if you have financial problems, then there is almost certainly a charity out there that can help. You might be a teacher, builder, nurse or soldier. There’s a charity for you. Applying to charity for help still seems to be something that we are reluctant to do. Why? Why is it so stigmatising? If you make an application to a charity for help, no-one will ever know, they will keep it completely confidential.

If you have lost a child your world has been turned upside down so has enough pressure and stress without adding to it. My recommendation to you is to seek help early, and not worry about what others may think because they will never know. It isn’t an indication of failure, it is a recognition that you are struggling to cope - it’s not a hand-out, it’s a leg-up; a safety net. And when you get back on your feet, you can support the charity that helped you by running a fundraising event or two, so that they can carry on their work.

Do yourself a favour and get help early before it becomes too big a problem to deal with. I am the CEO of a charity and too many times people come to us with tens of thousands of pounds of debt and their only route is bankruptcy - try getting a mobile phone contract once you’ve been made bankrupt, even after it has been discharged 12 months later. There’s a website out there that is simple to use, and can help you to identify which charities can help you; take advantage of the help to get you through this tough time:

www.turn2us.org.uk