Your Child Doesn't Matter to Me

‘Your Child Doesn’t Matter to Me’. That’s the message that we got with this morning’s post. A Christmas card with ‘To Bryan and Patsy, hope you have a wonderful Christmas, love from X, Y and Z’. To paraphrase an old saying “Blog in haste, repent at leisure”, but for crying out loud, how hard can it be? How many times have I posted here and on FB that Evie’s memory is the most important thing to us? How many times do I have to write about remembering Evie in Christmas Cards?

My first reaction on opening the card was one of pure rage, now it is just deep sadness. Someone that we have known for decades, that Patsy saw not long ago, has just churned out a card along with hundreds of others without a thought to the real message that it sends. The perception from the recipient, a parent whose world has ended, is that you have forgotten their child or that they don’t matter. It doesn’t matter to a bereaved parent that it wasn’t intentional. It doesn’t matter to a broken heart that they may not be very active on FB or Twitter. It doesn’t matter to a soul rent in half that others remember. Evie is dead. Each card that doesn’t mention her name cuts that bit deeper at a time of year when the pain builds to a crescendo on Christmas Day and is followed shortly afterwards by the anniversary of Evie’s death on 11th January. The coming weeks are going to be hard enough without this to add to it.

So …… one last time …… in your Christmas Cards PLEASE PLEASE write ‘Remembering Evie’ or “To Bryan, Patsy and EvieAngel”. Take 5 seconds out of your life to stop and think. I feel another book coming on, devoted purely to rage!!

Rant over, where’s the gin?